Cooking to Calm Down
I appreciate aesthetics, I appreciate self expression, and I appreciate joyful movement. But I don’t cook, do arts and crafts, or participate in sports of any kind. These are the kinds of qualities about me you’ll find in jokes made about me (with love) and stories told about me (i.e. remember when Amalia left a pizza in the oven overnight?).
However, fast forward to one night this week when my partner, who does almost all of the cooking, was overwhelmed with work responsibilities and we had a fridge full of groceries needing to be used. I was motivated to support my partner and I was in the head space of not being quite sure what to do with myself, so I decided to give it a try.
All that I discovered might seem obvious to those of you who regularly prepare food. This was all new to me, and I hope everyone can find some time this week to be present in an activity that feels as nurturing as cooking this simple dish was for me.
Connection to Nature
I live in an apartment with no balcony or private outdoor space. In the age of COVID, this is tricky. It takes a decent car or bike ride to get away from the city vibe and find a space to connect with nature. Taking the time to cut vegetables felt like the closest I’m going to get to gardening. I found myself appreciating the natural beauty of the vegetables’ colors, shapes, and textures.
Staying Present
Other than looking down at my phone for the recipe, I did not touch any technology. This helped me feel like I was really present in the moment, and enhanced the experience of engaging my five senses in the process. Mindfulness does not have to be as explicit as sitting down to meditate. The stresses of the day seemed just a bit smaller and less important as I concentrated on something as simple as maintaining all five fingers. If you are someone who cooks regularly, I’m curious about what type of intention you typically bring to the activity. I had anticipated the activity to feel like a chore, but learned that it was a chance to practice intentional mindfulness.
Nourishing
It’s hard to stay away from diet messaging, which constantly tells us to eat less or eat differently. I chose the recipe I made because I thought it would taste good, and I did not consider the nutritional content. It felt good to symbolically and metaphorically put energy into nourishing myself for the sake of pleasure and enjoyment. Staying present with our intention of providing care for ourselves helps us practice receiving and internalizing care from others. This is an opportunity to practice internalizing the message that we matter, deserve concrete and metaphorical nourishment, and can use our available resources to have this need met.
Chance to Practice Growth Mindset
If you’re a beginner like me, every part of cooking is a chance to practice a growth mindset- that is, the framework that just because something isn’t completely easy and intuitive doesn’t mean you can’t learn how to do it. The simplest way to summarize this is to add the word, “yet” to the end of a statement. I.e. I’m not good at cooking yet. If you’re more experienced with food preparation, picking a new recipe or type of food can offer the same benefits. The more we practice this type of flexibility, the easier this part of our mind is easier to access in times of high stress.
Questions for Reflection:
Ways to engage with these questions: journaling, reflecting, talking to someone you trust. As always, don’t hesitate to reach out to a qualified therapist for more support! Feel free to email me if you have questions about how to find someone or if you think we might be a good fit (amalia@amitydetroitcounseling).
When was the last time you tried something new?
How do you approach new challenges?
What fears or insecurities come up for when you’re doing something out of your comfort zone?
How do you incorporate mindfulness into your daily routines?