The topic of this week’s post is how to discern between feeling a sense of agency versus having a sense of control, with a focus on believing that you are doing enough! I have heard from many of you this past week that so much about life feels out of control right now -- and you are absolutely right. I have heard many of you say you wish you could do more, and I hear you. I’m right there with you in this uncertainty. We cannot control the outcomes of how this global pandemic impacts others or ourselves. We cannot control how we react emotionally. However, we absolutely can work to feel a sense of agency in our daily choices and how we choose to cope with the strong emotions that may be evoked during this time. 

To highlight the essence of this topic, I’m first turning to the film Eat Pray Love. If you’ve been anywhere near social media, you know there are plenty of memes going around about COVID-19, working from home (#WFH), and watching lots of tv and movies. I’m a huge fan of referencing tv and movies in therapy, because oftentimes these fictional narratives allow us a chance to see relationships, emotions, and conflict play out in ways that relate to exactly what we might be talking about that day. Check out this clip (really just the first 30 seconds) and keep reading to unpack my thoughts! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Ojsvc_KsDY

The recent outbreak of COVID-19 has many more people inside and living life differently from their normal routines. This isn’t true for everyone, but it certainly got me thinking about the role of routines in our lives. I am lucky that I already work from a home office and my routines are able to stay relatively normal most days, but even with that being said I have found myself re-examining my routines and putting a greater emphasis on self-care. One way of looking at this global pandemic-- if you are in a position of now being homebound -- is that it is an opportunity to focus inwards and on being instead of doing. Routines focused on self-care, reflection, and connection may aid you in that process.  

This is a chance to reflect on the nuances of how you interact with social media, the impacts those interactions have on your emotional well being, and how to feel the greatest sense of agency in your social media use. I certainly do not believe that social media is either all “good” or all “bad.” I absolutely believe that it is a great idea to pause and check in within yourself just as we check in during our sessions about things like sleep and how you’re feeling in your most intimate relationships.