If you’ve ever caught yourself longing for the one that got away, you might feel equal parts embarrassed and confused. I invite you to lean into reflection and curiosity to gain clarity about how to proceed.

You might feel pressure to figure this all out on your own and to just “love yourself” into feeling better. However, it’s often times a fantasy that this is the kind of work we can do alone. It isn’t that therapists have magical answers, but more that we can be with you in the process and figure out the answers together.

The answer to the question Why Am I Not Good Enough truly is, “It Depends.”

This phrase makes me cringe so much, and you might feel similarly. To say that someone has “daddy issues” is typically a fast way to metaphorically throw a punch to someone’s gut — and that someone is usually a woman. In my experience, this phrase is casually thrown around as an insult that’s used to discredit what a woman experiences in an intimate relationship. As in, when someone expresses a concern in a relationship, they can be met with. “They just have daddy issues that they’re projecting onto me.” 

I want to focus on two of the many ways this can be harmful.

There's this idea floating around on the internet that we have to be 'fully healed' and 'self-heal' before we dare to enter any type of relationship. Yes, it's a good idea to practice self-awareness and not carelessly project our pain onto new partners. But also, we are social creatures and we heal in and through relationships. So how do we know when we're ready enough to go back out there after a breakup or after trauma?